


Not A Surprise

by Vhaiada



Series: Many Hinakoma Opportunities [4]
Category: Dangan Ronpa, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Blindfolds, M/M, MOUTH STUFF, Spoilers, Surprises, beach stuff, hand stuff, komaeda's hinata headcanons, sand, takes place in chapter 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-14 13:08:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4565772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vhaiada/pseuds/Vhaiada
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I know, I know, it's dangerous to go in the ocean at all, much less at night..." Komaeda pressed his fist against his mouth. "We won't actually go in the water, though, so it'll be fine."</p><p>"That's not what I meant!" Hinata stomped toward the bed, enjoying for one moment that he could glare down at him, until Komaeda stood up. "I mean, why would you and me be going swimming together at night in the first place!?"</p><p>Komaeda leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead before he could dodge, "Because, I have a surprise for you!"</p><p>Then, the tie was placed over Hinata's eyes, and that was that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi, sorry, more dumb stories are coming out while i put off writing something about chapter 5....i guess...this is rated E for "errr this is awkward" i think the order of the stories in this series is actually: komaeda at 3am > third pillow > not a surprise > strawberry dynamo. this is based on ~island mode~ dialogue kinda, but i can't stop talking about murder, so it's still main game.
> 
> this one ended up being very long so i'm gonna break it up into 2 chapters o-or whatever. yikes

His voice hitched when he laughed. "Everyone else is an entire island away, Hinata-kun. You don't need to worry!" Komaeda held Hinata's hand a little tighter than was necessary as he led him down the boardwalk.  
  
The sun had gone down a few hours ago, and Hinata _hoped_ there was no surprise waiting for him on the beach. He'd passed by it earlier, on his way back from investigating the mysterious new Third Island, where the other students were still poking around. He hadn't noticed anything 'surprising' then, and he couldn't imagine finding anything new there now, less than an hour later. He did not _want_ to be surprised.

And yet, here they were. 

His toes sunk into the sand as he mentally recreated what he recalled of the beach's appearance: There were palm trees, cliffs in the distance, a few crabs usually... he could picture it all clearly. There was a gachapon machine for some reason. There was the ocean, naturally, and he heard the waves, so he could gauge his distance from the water. They were getting close, and he couldn't _hear_ anything surprising, at the very least.

It wasn't even a surprise that Komaeda had used Hinata's own tie as the blindfold. He was, maybe, a little surprised that he couldn't actually see anything out of it-- he expected it to slip a bit, expected to catch a glimpse of the ground through the little slivers of space where it wouldn't sit flush on his cheekbones. But it was tied snugly against him; every time his gaze darted around involuntarily, he could feel the silk pressed against his eyelids.

The real surprise was that Hinata had sort of agreed to this scenario in the first place -- there was the required preamble of protest, confusion, caution. He dropped the usual suspicious lines that peppered their conversations, careful to make sure Komaeda didn't get the _wrong idea_ about Hinata's opinion of him.

Every encounter with Komaeda somewhat fit the definition of a 'surprise' anyway, so perhaps being told about it beforehand was actually a little comforting. 

_It's nighttime anyway, so maybe it doesn't matter that much if I can't see_ , he thought, as Komaeda placed a hand on his shoulder to let him know they were done walking.  
  
"Can I see the 'surprise' now," Hinata was sure the skeptical expression he was making behind the tie could be heard, "And can we hurry it up, before everybody gets back?"  
  
"I said not to worry about something like that, Hinata-kun, that's why we're already wearing our swimsuits!"  
  
Hinata had been so preoccupied with the article of clothing tied around his head, he almost forgot that he wasn't wearing much else.

  
  
~~~  
  
Twenty minutes earlier, Komaeda was sitting at the foot of Hinata's bed, kicking his feet. "If anyone comes by, it will look like we're just doing some swimming at night. I'll say 'Oh, Hinata-kun is helping me look for something I lost at the beach,' and because everyone knows how kind you are, they'll believe me," Komaeda watched Hinata change into his dark school-issue swim trunks intently. He was already wearing his own swimsuit, and it looked like it might slide off his narrow hips at any moment. Hinata imagined that moment might not be far off, and realized that such thoughts were impairing his judgment. He did nothing with this information.  
  
"That doesn't have anything to do with 'doing some swimming at night'," Hinata protested, even as he snapped the waistband of his trunks into place. "Why would we be swimming at night in the first place?"  
  
"I know, I know, it's dangerous to go in the ocean at all, much less at night..." Komaeda pressed his fist against his mouth. "We won't actually go in the water, though, so it'll be fine."  
  
"That's not what I meant!" Hinata stomped toward the bed, enjoying for one moment that he could glare down at him, until Komaeda stood up. "I mean, why would _you_ and _me_ be going swimming together at night!"  
  
Komaeda leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead before he could dodge. "Because, I have a surprise for you!"  
  
Then the tie was placed over Hinata's eyes, and that was that.

  
  
~~~

 

A particularly loud wave crashed against the shore, Hinata imagined he could feel the spray. He impatiently reached for the blindfold, but Komaeda stopped him with only a few words. "Hinata-kun, aren't you being too eager?"

His hand froze in mid-air. "Then...hurry up already." A breeze ruffled his hair. Even though it was warm out, he shivered a little.

Komaeda's quiet voice was suddenly right next to his ear, and he jumped. "I thought you had a little more self-control than this, but you should try to keep your hands at your sides."

Hinata bristled at his tone, but before he had time to get angry, he felt Komaeda's fingers slide into the waistband of his trunks. He _still_ wasn't surprised.

"Y-you couldn't wait until tonight for this?" Hinata's knees were already getting weak, and he hated how easy this was. " _Now_ who's the eager one, Komaeda?"

Komaeda kissed his neck and Hinata could feel him smile. "You're exactly right, I was too eager," His voice fractured a little, and he laughed softly. Hinata felt stupid.

"This isn't a surprise," He groaned when Komaeda's hand slipped all the way into his suit and fingers wrapped around him, already half hard. Komaeda replied by stroking him slowly a few times, hair tickling while he kissed his collarbone. Then his hand was gone, and Hinata sensed that he wasn't standing in front of him anymore. He felt slender fingers curled against his hips before his trunks were being pulled down, all the way to his knees, which buckled at the sudden exposure. "H-hey, if someone comes by, this doesn't look anything like night swimming," Hinata's hands reached down for where he assumed Komaeda's head would be, grabbing two fistfuls of hair to ground himself.

Komaeda responded by slowly dragging his tongue up Hinata's length before swallowing him. Hinata choked back a sound, biting his lip too hard, amazed at how much different it felt when he couldn't see it coming. He pushed into Komaeda's mouth almost immediately, either as punishment or thanks, and Komaeda held his hips firmly in place as he started to move his head.

It wasn't just _not_ a surprise-- it was, actually, exactly what Hinata expected. 

It had gotten to the point where it was almost difficult to look at Komaeda's face while he spoke during the day, about unrelated matters. Hinata would try to listen to him, because it usually ended up being important, but his mind would wander, watching his mouth move.

Even expecting it, he wasn't sure how much of this he could take while standing up-- He legs threatened to give out, but Komaeda was holding him up, humming occasionally against him.

Then, in between the muffled sounds coming from the both of them, Hinata thought he heard... something. Something mechanical. Something adjusting. It was quiet, and familiar, but he couldn't place it. He tightened his grip on Komaeda's hair and yanked on it to stop him. "H-hey... did you hear that?" Komaeda licked him hard. Hinata yanked his hair again. "I'm serious! What was that sound?"

He took a half-step backward, and heard the sound again. "Fuck, Komaeda, what is that? If that's Monokuma watching us or something, I'm finally, _actually_ going to kill you--" he reached up to pull off his blindfold, not caring what Komaeda thought about it anymore, but his hand smacked into something hard on its way up.

"Mmph," Komaeda pulled away and it sounded like he wiped his mouth, "Hinata-kun, be careful!" He grabbed Hinata's wrist and brought it back down to his side. "If you damage it, we'll be in trouble."

"Damage...what?!" Hinata's other hand shot up to his head and he ripped the tie off. His vision took a moment to adjust as his eyes refocused in the darkness.

_Oh, it was the sound of something... refocusing._

He looked to his left, and, inches away from his hips, the huge lens of the surveillance camera was pointed directly at Komaeda's head. It seemed that his mental painting of the beach had neglected a few critical details. Komaeda blinked up at him in the starlight, wiping off a tiny glimmer of saliva at the corner of his mouth.

"Wh-what...what the hell?" Hinata stumbled back, tripping over the swim trunks still bunched up on his legs. Komaeda was on his knees but tried to catch him, grabbing at his waist, and they both tumbled down into the sand. Hinata actually felt a split-second of relief that Komaeda was partially on top of him, so for one moment, his dick wasn't visibly _on the record_. He smacked his palm on Komaeda's forehead and tilted his head up to look at him. "The hell were you thinking? You _want_ Monokuma watching us fuck around?!"

"Haha, it's a shame you saw it already... I wanted to ask them for a copy of it later," Komaeda shuddered through a laugh, sounding delightfully disappointed.

"Is this the surprise?!"

"Hinata-kun, I didn't expect that we would have time alone today, so I was rushed, and my plan was even shoddier than usual." He really didn't seem that upset. Hinata glared at him.

He tilted his head away from Hinata's palm and leaned around it to kiss his stomach before continuing, "We're constantly on camera, they don't seem to mind," his tongue darted out to dip into Hinata's navel, "...and neither do you, Hinata-kun."

"I'm always trying to _forget_ that we're on camera! It's the only way I can do _anything_!" Hinata straightened his hand and thunked Komaeda in the head with a chopping motion, hard enough to make him wince. "And there's no way they would ever give you a copy!" Komaeda licked him again, and his shoulders trembled, "A-aren't there cameras at the Market, if you wanted to do something gross like this?" Hinata cringed when he realized he was offering alternatives, instead of throwing sand in his eyes and running back to his cottage.

Komaeda's hand slid up his torso, and he laughed again softly. "But isn't it more fun like this, Hinata-kun?" He was looking down at Hinata's skin, eyes barely visible through his pale lashes. "I wonder what the video quality is like, how much detail it captures when we're this close?"

There was another mechanical sound, and the camera was looking at them again. Hinata felt dizzy and would have toppled over if he wasn't already on the ground, suddenly envisioning it as a third person standing over them, judging them. Judging him. His taste in companions.

"D...do you like having stuffed animals watch you give blow jobs?"

"Hmm, they're probably watching, but we don't know who _actually_ put us here, do we? And if it's being recorded, who knows who might see it later," Komaeda started to move back down between his legs, "It's probably unbearably boring to watch hours of pointless security footage, where no one is dying," he nipped at Hinata's thigh, "Where no one is doing anything of any _interest_ at all." He looked up again and smiled, "Do you think it captures sound, Hinata-kun?"

Then Komaeda's warm mouth enveloped him again, and Hinata clenched his fist around the tie still in his hand, trying to keep from dragging it through the sand. After a few moments of Komaeda doing _something_ with his tongue, Hinata stuffed the knot of the tie in his own mouth and bit down, trying to keep his sounds to a minimum. Without looking up, Komaeda grabbed the end of it and pulled.

Hinata bit down harder at first, groaning in protest, but let go of it the second he started to feel like a dog playing tug of war. He was defeated, and threw his arm over his eyes without comment, his head dropping back in the sand. He let Komaeda hear him gasp, because who cares anymore, and he tried not to think about the camera.

...He tried, he really did try. After a few seconds of honest trying, he peeked from behind his arm to look at it again. Who was behind that lens? Did they have an audience at all? If it was only Monokuma or Monomi-- Hinata halted his train of thought, pushing the images of bears and bunnies out of his mind, so he didn't start to form any unsavory associations with how he was feeling right now.

Komaeda's throat tightened around him and Hinata bit down on his forearm. His other hand squeezed a fistful of sand as he wondered how much pressure and heat it would take to turn it into glass. He didn't bother to warn Komaeda anymore; his desperate whining got louder, and then he arched up-- the only parts of him touching the ground were his head, shoulders, and toes. Komaeda had been hugging his hips tightly, and released him after he finished. Hinata thought he saw the other boy slide two fingers quickly into his own mouth, but he was having trouble focusing on him as he slumped back down to earth.

The camera was still staring blatantly at them, and he wished he had a towel to cover up with. "Why did we have to do this on the beach," he groaned, "There are cameras everywhere, and now I'm all sandy."

"The beach is beautiful at night, and the camera is right here on the ground," Komaeda breathed raggedly, still bent over him, and Hinata remembered that he was still on edge.

Hinata wrinkled his nose. "You should just come right on the lens if you like cameras so much," He leaned forward and deposited his fistful of sand in the middle of Komaeda's back. He stayed still when he felt it, so he wouldn't spill any.

"I think that counts as destroying property, Hinata-kun," he kept his head down as he spoke, back perfectly parallel to the ground, supporting himself with one hand in the sand, and one elbow on Hinata's knee. Hinata added another fistful to the first, tiny grains tumbling down to make a smooth little hill on his spine. In the starlight, Komaeda and the glittering sand looked to be the same shade of pale. 

"But what a great way to end your weird porno, and then you could just roll credits over that," He added a third lump of sand, "--Don't put me in the credits though." He added a fourth, and this time some of it spilled over Komaeda's sides in a delicate cascade. Hinata frowned, like his house of cards had crumbled, and started dusting it all off of him, no longer interested. Komaeda leaned forward to assist in his de-sanding, shoulders down, hips up in the air.

Hinata didn't even notice that Komaeda had pulled his own trunks down to his thighs until he was reaching behind himself with mysteriously _shiny_ fingers, which he'd been keeping far away from the sand cascades.

Komaeda's back arched downward until his head was resting on Hinata's stomach, the camera had a perfect view of the backs of his thighs. He watched Komaeda's hand curve, arm pressed firmly against his back. Two of his fingers began to disappear from view, slowly, carefully, as he pushed into himself. His other arm wrapped around Hinata's back, bracing on the ground. He moaned against his bare skin, and it sounded like he was in pain. Hinata instinctively ran a soothing hand through his hair.

"I-if it hurts, you shouldn't push yourself," he said, even as he felt himself getting hard again just from the sounds. In this position, he was pretty sure Komaeda could feel it too.

"I'm... thinking about Hinata-kun," Komaeda's fingers had pushed in as far as they could go, and without giving himself much time to adjust, his wrist started to move.

"Um, yeah...I figured," Hinata realized he'd missed his chance at a better line, and hastened to correct it, "You, uh, think about me a lot, right? When...when you do this...to yourself?"

"Of course... Hi-hinata-kun," Komaeda gripped Hinata's back tightly as he found a rhythm. He closed his eyes, seeming lost in the moment, then suddenly he jerked and cried out, startling Hinata. "Ah, s-stop...!" he dragged his cheek down Hinata's stomach, his own fingers fucking him harder, "Please.. wait..."

"Uh," Hinata considered that maybe Komaeda had lost control of his arm.

"H-Hinata-kun...I can't... take any more, p-please..."

"I'm not _doing_ anything...!" He responded reflexively even though it was obvious, and felt like he was somehow losing to an imaginary Hinata.

"And.. _.Ah--_!" Komaeda panted against him, "Wh-why _is_ that, Hinata-kun?"

"Huh? Oh..." Hinata's expression tightened. Komaeda tilted his head up to look at him, so he quickly put two of his own fingers in Komaeda's mouth. He hoped most of the sand on his hands had dusted off in his hair while he was running his fingers through it, but if not, he heard no complaints. Komaeda's tongue slid between his fingers, and he moaned louder around them, as his imaginary _Hinata-kun_ seemingly took him against his will.

Hinata tore his eyes away from the sight of Komaeda drooling on his stomach long enough to look back at the huge, glass eye staring them down. He wondered what the view looked like from the other side. If he were a little closer, he was pretty sure he'd be able to make out details in the reflection.

Komaeda surged forward suddenly, like imaginary Hinata was getting rougher, and his teeth grazed real Hinata's knuckles. He pressed down against his tongue to keep away from his teeth, and then started to thrust his fingers in time with Komaeda's, absently wondering if he'd _ever_ had any gag reflex.

Komaeda whined, and began trying to push a third finger inside himself. The start of tears glinted in his eyes; Hinata pulled his hand away in case he needed to say something, but Komaeda just closed his eyes tightly, eyebrows drawn up, whimpering.

"Hey, y-you really should be careful..." Hinata didn't know what else to do, so he gently put his arms around Komaeda's shoulders, sliding further under him so their heads were nearer together, and pulled him down so there was more contact, more friction.

"Hinata-kun is being... too rough with me," he pleaded, three fingers working inside him, looking at Hinata for help, or affirmation, or some other response.

Hinata wondered if he even needed to be here for this at all, but at least _some_ part of him was glad that he was. "Y...eah, sorry about that, I guess I just... can't help myself."

"And wh-why... can't you... help yourself?"

"Um," Hinata's eyes flickered from Komaeda's face, to his arched back, to his rapidly moving wrist, "Because...you're...filthy?" he tried, wishing it hadn't come out like a question.

"I-I am filthy," Komaeda gasped, finally leaning into him. His thighs were parted on either side of Hinata's hips, and he started to grind down on him, matching the motion of his fingers.

The stimulation was sort of strange and inconsistent, but Hinata was pretty sure he could get into it if he put in a little effort himself. He grabbed the back of Komaeda's neck and pulled him into a messy kiss, hips arching up to meet his, and then suddenly there was a _someone else's voice_ coming from somewhere, and Hinata dropped back into the sand like a rock. Both of them froze.

Hinata had almost forgotten they were in a public space, almost forgotten they were apparently making surveillance footage pornography, almost forgot that his swimsuit was bunched up at his ankles, his tie half-buried in the sand, his dick hard and pressed into Komaeda's thigh. Komaeda hadn't moved yet, hadn't even pulled his fucking fingers out yet, and Hinata wondered if he was _trying_ to get caught.

They stared at each other, Hinata's face horrified, Komaeda's just a bit dazed-- until Komaeda finally pushed himself to his knees, then slowly stood up, tugging up his swim trunks. Hinata leapt to his feet and did the same, throwing his tie around his neck so he didn't leave evidence lying around. He started to run towards the ocean, to Do Some Night Swimming.

Komaeda didn't follow him; he slipped ghostlike behind the cartoonish palm tree that housed the Monomono Yachine, and disappeared from sight. Hinata's feet splashed into the tide, right as Souda appeared from behind the tropical greenery by the Central Island's path.

"Holy fucking shit, Hinata, that was you. I thought I was gonna walk over here and see a dead body. Like, I almost fucking turned right around, because honestly, I don't think I could deal right now. Seriously. What the hell. You scared the shit outta me." Hinata stooped down into the dark waves, he had gotten far enough out that it was up to his waist if he crouched over a little. He turned to face Souda, but couldn't bring himself to respond. Souda blinked, waited, folded his arms. "...Soooo what the fuck are you doing out here, man?"

"I'm helping Komaeda look for something. He lost something," Hinata wondered why he'd put his tie on over his bare torso. He couldn't even see Komaeda, and realized now that Souda couldn't either. "...I'm doing some night swimming."

"Ko-Komaeda is here too?" Souda's expression soured even more, and he rubbed the back of his head nervously through his hat. He looked around the empty beach, then back at Hinata. "Uh, well, good luck with that then." He had already started retreating back on the trail, and was out of sight before Hinata could sputter any more cool sentences. 

He slowly sank into the ocean until only his eyes were visible and started blowing bubbles into the salty black brine, waves occasionally lapping over his head completely.

Komaeda appeared from behind the fake tree, scoping out the trail for any more visitors before he took a few halting steps toward the shore. He stopped well out of reach of any waves. "We're alone again, so you should come out of the water, Hinata-kun!" He was holding his hands limply, unnaturally in front of him, speaking loudly so he could be heard over the tide.

Hinata raised his head above the waves. "Why don't _you_ come on over here, Komaeda, let's do some night swimming," his tone matched the ocean's saltiness.

"...Hinata-kun, I told you we wouldn't actually get into the water..." Fine grains of sand glinted on Komaeda's once-shiny fingers.

"Are you afraid of the ocean or something?" Hinata pointed at him accusingly, "Wait, you dove right in when we first started our _Heart Throbbing School Trip_!" Hinata didn't _do_ an Usami voice, but he aimed for her inflection.

"No...and yes, but it would be dangerous to be in the water with just me alone..."

"...Are you gonna drown me?"

"No...Hinata-kun, please come out of there. It's dark."

Hinata swam a little closer, waves slapping against him, but the water was still thigh-deep if he'd been standing up. He peered at Komaeda's slender, dimly lit figure on the shore, narrowing his eyes.

"You should come in. It's cold as hell. You look like you could use it." He gestured broadly at Komaeda's lingering _swimsuit situation_ , flinging water as far as he could in the process. The driplets didn't even come close to hitting their target.

"I'll be fine over here."

"You can't even finish jerking off, 'cause there's sand all over your hands now. At least come in and wash it off." Hinata was still irritated beyond belief, but was sort of enjoying Komaeda looking so helpless.

"Hinata-kun, if I get into the ocean with you, you will probably get eaten by a shark."

"I will NOT get eaten by a shark," Hinata stood up abruptly, clearly offended, as if being eaten by a shark was some sort of personal shortcoming. He started to really put some effort into trying to splash Komaeda. "If you get in the water, right now, I will...I'll... I will suck _you_ off this time."

Komaeda flinched at the splashes even though they were still a ways off from hitting him. "H-Hinata-kun, you know I would let you do that at any time, you shouldn't put yourself in pointless danger for it..."

Hinata didn't know what to say to that, but he felt a low-key tantrum building up in his gut. He _could_ do it any time, but so far he had _not tried_ , and thought the offer would be too good to pass up. Apparently, he was wrong. He put all his effort into one more big splash in Komaeda's direction, and it still fell short.

"Fine. Fine! At least get close enough to wash your hands off, seriously, it's kind of grossing me out." If Komaeda was actually worried enough to pass on his extremely generous favor, maybe it was time to listen to him. Hinata was still offended, though. His soaking wet tie felt heavy around his neck.

Komaeda's shoulders slumped and he took a few more steps toward the wet sand being lapped by foam. "Okay, I'm doing it, so please get out now." He took another step, and another, until the weight of his toes cracked the wave-worn surface of the damp sand. Hinata swam a little closer to appease him and stood up again, white-capped small waves breaking around his knees now.

Komaeda placed his sand-encrusted hands on the ground and gasped softly when icy black water came rushing up and over him, submerging him to the wrists and ankles.

At that exact moment, Hinata was attacked.

He was certain it was a shark, and he realized he was about to die. He wondered if this counted as murder, and he thought about what sort of evidence the others would find at the crime scene to sully his good name. He could picture Souda giving his testimony that _Komaeda was with Hinata on the beach the night that he died_. He could see the bullet shattering through Komaeda's claims of innocence.

He still had enough strength to run, and managed a strangled cry before tripping into a small wave and landing face-first in the shallow water.

He kicked his feet to fend off his attacker, but the sharp pain in his leg--

\--Well, sharp pain in his _foot_ \--

Heel, really. His heel hurt really bad.

_Pretty_ bad, mostly because of the stinging salt water. There was a splash when Komaeda knelt beside him, grabbing Hinata's ankle to still him before gently pinching the small crab off of his foot.  He tossed it back into the tide as it began to recede around them.

"Hinata-kun!! Are you okay?!" He still sounded like Hinata's life was on the line.

Hinata let his head drop back into the surf, his ahoge slicing through the water like a fin while the ocean pulled it all back in, leaving him lying now face-down in nothing but soaked sand and his own shame. Komaeda rubbed his shoulder with one hand and started to apologize.

"Leave me here," Hinata groaned, cutting him off. "Leave me here to die." He was too embarrassed to look Komaeda in the eyes, so he turned his head just enough to look at his boney knees buried in sand instead, before the tide rushed back in, stronger than before, to slap them both. It knocked Komaeda over.

Hinata finally pushed himself up, way sandier than before, and grabbed Komaeda's wrist. He started dragging him back to the safety of dry land, but it was a little difficult, because Komaeda didn't grab his arm back. He was making a tight fist with the hand Hinata was trying to hold, and Hinata dropped him on the ground.

"Did you hurt your hand or something?" He figured those crabs were probably out for vengeance with a crab-squisher like Saionji on the loose, or maybe he'd pulled a muscle while _Hinata-kun_ was being rough with him.

"No," Komaeda stood up under his own power, futilely trying to brush wet sand off his legs with his other hand.

"Are you holding something?" Hinata suddenly felt his suspicions rising, and he snatched Komaeda's slim wrist again.

Komaeda huffed, almost a sigh, hesitating before slowly unfurling his fingers to reveal something small -- something shining, shimmering, splendid, sitting in the middle of his palm.

A tiny, perfect, pale pink pearl.

"Surprise..." Komaeda smiled halfheartedly, and held it out to him.

Hinata just stared. "Why do you have that."

"...It washed into my hand while I was rescuing you."

"That's..." Hinata didn't complete his sentence, he couldn't. He looked back and forth between Komaeda's face and the pearl. "...Uh....that's, thanks." He took the tiny bauble between his fingers, and held it up to admire it for a moment, or maybe to see if it was real, before tucking it more securely against his palm.

"Let's just go back, Hinata-kun. There's sand... inside my swimsuit."

"Yeah, mine too."

~~~

They walked together until they reached the gate that lead onto the Hotel grounds. Hinata tried not to limp on his heel, because it really didn't hurt that much, he just couldn't stop thinking about it. He stopped short of putting his hand on the door. At least one person already knew they'd been hanging out tonight, or doing something, maybe it wasn't weird to go in together. Or maybe it was still super, super weird.

Komaeda caught his hesitation and smiled, eyebrows upturned. "I'll wait for a while before I go in after you, Hinata-kun."

 

Sometimes, he hated when Komaeda was being agreeable. He felt like it threw off his narrative, and still left him seeming unpredictable. Hinata wanted to do something surprising for a change.

Without pausing to really formulate a plan, he pushed hard on the door and charged in. They didn't have far to go, his cottage was so close. He started yelling anyway.

"Komaeda! What do you mean you lost your towel?!"

Trailing behind, Komaeda clasped his hands in front of him and looked right and left, down the rows of cottages. Mioda was halfway in her door, a handful of chips halfway in her mouth. She waved to them. Komaeda slightly waved back. Hinata kept yelling.

"You can borrow mine, but you have to come get it yourself! I'm not gonna bring it to you!" He stormed over to his door and flung it open, standing in the threshold with his arm out. Komaeda looked around again, then back at Hinata questioningly. Hinata's mouth tightened into a flat line.

"Thank you, Hinata-kun!" Komaeda finally spoke up. There may have been someone else hanging out by the pool, but it was hard to tell. "Getting to use Hinata-kun's towel, it must smell like you, I am lucky, after all!" He passed through the door, pretending not to notice Hinata's horrified expression. The door closed.

"Too much!" Hinata grumbled, though he was just happy to be in an enclosed space again. He set the pearl down next to his TV, which he'd never used.

"Too much?" Komaeda sat on his bed, even though their suits were still quite damp.

"Acting."

"Hmm," Komaeda didn't answer. He frowned at the trail of sand they'd both tracked in, but then abruptly perked up. "So, Hinata-kun, do you still want to?"

Hinata was tired, and sandy, and didn't really 'want to' anything. "...Want to what?" He was about to ask Komaeda to get off the bed, but instead he sat down on it too.

Komaeda laughed, and then his voice lowered, "Your offer at the beach, of course."

"Uh?" He sputtered automatically, but he already knew where this was going, and why. He'd forgotten. He wasn't sure if he was happy that Komaeda remembered or not.

"I _did_ touch the water when you told me to, and then I touched it more, to save you!"

"Uh...n-no, I meant I would do it _if_ you got in and went swimming with me...you were being weird about it, so...it was making me... kinda mad..." 

"Hinata-kun, you don't need to make up challenges or excuses... I've told you before, you can do anything you want to me, at any time!" 

Hinata rigidly folded his arms. "I think... y-you're kind of misreading this situation."

"Am I?" Komaeda brought his fingers delicately up to his mouth, apparently deep in thought. "If that's true, then I apologize.  I guess I overstepped my bounds, and should have known better."

Hinata squeezed his arms tighter over his chest and tried not to look at the pitiful expression on Komaeda's face. "I was gonna do it in the water. We're not there anymore."

"If that's the case, I don't mind if you want to do it in the shower. We need to wash off anyway!"

"Um, look..." Hinata found himself speaking before he'd actually come up with anything to say, so the truth came out. "I, uh... thought if I did it in the ocean, it would be kind of...distracting," He felt his face growing hot as he stared down at his own lap, "...And you wouldn't notice that I had no idea what I was doing." 

"Hinata-kun!" Komaeda grabbed his arm. "I wouldn't care if you're unskilled at it! Obviously, I don't mind that at all!"

"What's that supposed to m--"

"Because I love you, very much." He pressed Hinata's hand over his heart suddenly, and Hinata's own heart started hammering in his chest. He winced and tried to pull his hand away, but Komaeda was holding him tightly.

"H-hey, don't joke about that, it's weird--" He pulled again, and Komaeda relaxed just enough that he was able to wrench himself away.

"There's nothing weird about it," Komaeda looked at him very seriously, placing his hand flat on the bed. "Hinata-kun, you are an extremely special and important person to me." He said it so earnestly and clearly, Hinata had to scoot away from him a little. He didn't even believe him, there was no way that was true, so why did it feel almost _comforting_ to hear it? Even from someone like Komaeda, who seemed to be constantly lying about all kinds of things? __

_Special and important._

Of course, everyone here was special and important in some way. Hinata couldn't remember what made him special and important, but Komaeda didn't seem to mind. His heart was still pounding so hard it hurt.

"Let's... just... go take a shower, before we get more sand on the bed."

"Of course, Hinata-kun."


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ah, sorry, it's a bit crowded with me here. If you don't want to shower together, I can get out," He squeezed some pink shampoo into his palm, "It's probably unpleasant to share your personal space with someone like me while you're trying to get clean." Komaeda was already soaping his hair up as he spoke.
> 
> "Uh..." Hinata finally turned around to face him. Unpleasant wasn't the word that came to mind. Hibiscus-scented bubbles and water flowed over him, breaking in angular patterns as it hit his sharp collarbone. "Faster this way," he mumbled, words almost lost in the hiss of the shower. "To...get it over with."
> 
> "You're right, as always, Hinata-kun. Do you want me to wash your back?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AGGRESSIVELY CONTINUES TO PUT OFF WRITING CHAPTER 5

 

They hadn't showered together before, but-- both covered in sand, and with sea salt tightening on their skin-- this seemed as good a time as any, Hinata thought. Well, he didn't think about it _too_ hard, or, like many things he'd found himself doing recently, it might have started to seem like a bad idea.

More sand and grit appeared under him as he peeled his swim trunks off and dropped them in a twisted heap on the bathroom floor. He stepped quickly into the shower; suddenly he felt so naked and exposed, probably because he was exactly both of those things. Komaeda appeared in the doorway behind him, of course noticing the trunks on the floor immediately. He swept in and scooped them up in one motion, carefully untwisting and leaving them spread out by the sink to dry.

"Hinata-kun, your tie." He extended his hand.

"Er...right." Hinata pulled his wet tie off and handed it over automatically. Komaeda _thanked him_ before he rinsed it in the sink and hung it on the back of the door. The domestic sight of Komaeda Nagito tenderly caring for his clothes made him feel kind of strange, so he turned away from it to fuss with the shower knobs. Fumbling, he turned it on too quickly and blasted himself with cold water, yelping in alarm.

"...Oh, are you okay?" Komaeda stepped toward the glass shower, now wearing nothing but a concerned expression. "Do you need help?"

"No...my hand just slipped, I'm fine. It's warmer now." Hinata vastly preferred baths to showers, maybe this was why. Steam was already clouding the tub, and it was a little hotter than 'warm', but he didn't feel it. He was trying to look at anything _but_ Komaeda, which is probably why he was startled when the other boy stepped past the glass divider and into the shower with him. They bumped elbows.

Hinata didn't realize that he'd been frantically calculating whether showering together was more or less intimate than the other things they'd already done, until this moment, when he felt like he had his answer.

"I hope the sand doesn't clog the pipes... there was more than I thought," Komaeda sighed, soft and close behind him. Hinata imagined that he could feel it on his skin. They both watched as streams of sand flowed off of them and into the drain, leaving gritty trails behind on the white porcelain.

Hinata busied himself by nudging at the trails with his toe, while a pale arm reached beside him to grab the shampoo. He was somewhat hogging the spray of water, so Komaeda had to lean in uncomfortably close to soak his hair. Hinata jumped when they bumped shoulders.

"Ah, sorry, it's a bit crowded with me here. If you don't want to shower together, I can get out," He squeezed some pink shampoo into his palm, "It's probably unpleasant to share your personal space with someone like me while you're trying to get clean." Komaeda was already soaping his hair up as he spoke.

"Uh..." Hinata finally turned around to face him. _Unpleasant_ wasn't the word that came to mind. Hibiscus-scented bubbles and water flowed over him, breaking in angular patterns as it hit his sharp collarbone. "Faster this way," he mumbled, words almost lost in the hiss of the shower. "To...get it over with."

"You're right, as always, Hinata-kun. Do you want me to wash your back?"

"...Is my back really dirty?"

Komaeda laughed. "Not particularly, but isn't that something people do when they bathe together? I want to be useful, if I can!"

Hinata swallowed, his eyes drifting to Komaeda's fingers. Personally, he wasn't really sure what people did when they bathed together. "...Okay. You can then, I guess."

Komaeda took the washcloth off its hook and squeezed a little gel soap onto it. He slapped it on Hinata's back, and started pressing it into his shoulder blades, and it already felt more like a massage than a cleaning ritual. Hinata found himself leaning with one arm against the shower wall, while Komaeda spent a little too long rolling his knuckles between the delicate musculature of his back. The thin washcloth separating them provided an excuse for the prolonged contact, but Hinata's mind was wandering again-- soothing warm water splattered over him, and questionable images started to form in the steam right before his eyes.

"O-okay, I think I'm all clean now...!" Hinata realized too late that he couldn't turn around anymore, or Komaeda would see exactly how much he was enjoying having his back washed. Fingers kept kneading at his spine through the cloth, showing no sign of stopping. Hinata looked over his shoulder to repeat himself, but paused. Komaeda was gazing at him, _through_ him, smiling distantly, eyebrows upturned. He almost thought he heard soft laughter over the din of water hitting tile. "Uh...I said, I'm clean now!" he took a step forward to see if it would help.

Komaeda blinked when his hand was hovering suddenly in midair, and looked up. "Oh, I'm finished! I hope I did an acceptable job."

"Yep, I'm super clean now." Hinata quickly started washing between his legs, hoping a froth of soap bubbles would hide the fact that, while his back was clean, his mind was not. He could still feel sand in some places, and grimaced as he eliminated the evidence of their time at the beach.

Well, most of the evidence-- what remained was lodged in his brain. Vivid and sharp. He heard soft humming coming from behind him, echoing off the walls, and turned his head again.

Komaeda glanced up from scrubbing at his legs and smiled lightly. "Hinata-kun, do you mind if I touch myself now, since I was unable to finish earlier?"

Hinata sputtered. " _Now_ you start asking for permission to do that?" His mind played back a reel of all the times Komaeda had done it without asking, in his bed. _On_ his bed.

"I thought maybe you didn't like that sort of thing happening in the shower."

"Um...why do you say that?" It was quite the opposite where Hinata was concerned, actually, but didn't feel like Komaeda needed to know that. 

"Because _you're_ not doing it right now, even though..."

Hinata was sure he had _not_ turned around enough for Komaeda to notice his predicament, and yet, Komaeda had noticed his predicament. He groaned and leaned his forehead against the tile, not really sure what he'd _expected_ to happen, showering together with him. Probably this.

(" _Ah, you're like this already, just from having your back washed, Hinata-kun_!" He could hear it so clearly.)

It didn't really matter what he'd expected; no amount of innocent showers would be able to wash away Hinata's constant concerns-- wash away the amount of time he spent, unguarded and exposed, around _this_ person.

Lost in thought, he slapped his hand on the wet walls, making a louder sound than he intended. Komaeda flinched.

_Why am I like this?_

"Sorry, Hinata-kun, I didn't mean to upset you," he leaned into the water to rinse the shampoo out hurriedly.

_He's not even someone I can ever trust. He's a liar._

"I won't bother you in the shower anymore."  
  
_He's probably just using me._

Komaeda quickly scrubbed the bubbles out of his hair, being thorough even in his haste. With his hair pushed up, Hinata could see the nape of his neck.

_But I guess I'm not much better.  
_

Whether Komaeda was stroking his ego or some _other_ part of him, Hinata was quick to guilt himself for ever enjoying any of it-- Somehow, it was easier to scold himself for appreciating physical contact than to consider there might be anything else he liked about having him around.

When he moved to step out of the shower, Hinata's hand shot out to grab his shoulder. He almost didn't realize he'd done it, but now it was too late, and he had to say something.

"Hey, Komaeda," he was staring at his own toes as he tried to get the words out, "Why, um," his voice softened, and he wasn't even sure if he could be heard, "Why do you...uh...why do you say stuff like....that you _like_ me?" He couldn't bring himself to use a more direct, accurate phrasing.

Komaeda stopped, and turned to fully face him, as water continued to drizzle over them. Hinata glanced up just in time to see wide-eyed terror switch quickly into a gentle smile. "...As I've told you, there's... an intense hope inside you that draws me in, Hinata-kun." Komaeda looked away this time, "...I love... that you're filled with hope."

"Hope, huh..." Hinata looked down again, now that he could nervously stare at both of their toes at the same time. He didn't really understand, but he was starting to get used to not understanding. Maybe Komaeda didn't mean it the way Hinata thought he meant it. Maybe they both just liked having someone else close by, and Hinata just _happened_ to be the person he latched on to.

He was here, right now, so maybe the exact meaning wasn't important. A bolt of something ran up Hinata's freshly washed back, sensation, as though there were still nimble fingers kneading into his skin.

Hinata put his other hand on Komaeda's other shoulder and looked him squarely in the eyes for a split second, before averting his gaze again. "I'm gonna do it."

Komaeda laughed, "Let me know if you want any help, I'll be drying off, but will be happy to--"

"No, I mean, _to you_. I'm gonna..." It had been so easy to shout it, surrounded by roaring black waves, the bottomless sea. Almost as a joke. _Almost._ But now Hinata couldn't even remember what the act was called. Letters swirled around in his brain, but they exploded before he could form them into words. Pathetic.

"With my mouth," he finally managed, sternly. He said it with conviction, then he heard his own voice echo back through the bathroom and felt so stupid he wanted to cry. His hands slid off Komaeda's shoulders to hang limply at his sides, and he waited to be laughed at.

Komaeda's expression went blank and he took a step back, nearly tripping over the edge of the deep tub. "I-if that's what you want, Hinata-kun...!"

Hinata raised a hand to grab him if he fell, but he didn't. "Um...y-you keep saying _'what I want_ ', but... I was gonna do it for _you_ , you know. To like, repay you, or something." Hinata could feel his own nails digging into his palms.

"For me?" Komaeda repeated like he didn't understand. "You don't owe me anything...if you feel like anything I've done for you is worth putting up with my lowly presence, then, I'm really happy..." he laughed nervously, both his hands up in surrender.

"...D-do you want me to try it or not?" Hinata was getting frustrated again. Komaeda was being like this, as if this whole thing wasn't difficult enough already.

"If...you _want_...to..." Komaeda wrapped a hand around his own throat and dug his nails into the skin, refusing to make eye contact. Hinata grabbed his wrist and pulled it away, but Komaeda had already left light marks on himself.

Hinata gave in. "Fine. I want to. So let me do it."

Komaeda exhaled in relief, and laughed a little. "Alright, alright. Of course, you can do anything to me! Anything you want!"

"Y-yeah...yeah, I know."

Hinata dropped to his knees with a thud, wincing at the few remaining grains of sand in the tub that were now needling into his skin. "Say again that you don't care if this ends up being really, really bad." Hinata looked kind of angry, but wasn't sure who he was angry at, or if that was even the emotion he was feeling.

"I told you, I don't mind at all," Komaeda suddenly grabbed Hinata's jaw and squeezed a little, smiling down at him. Water dripped off the pale tendrils of his hair and splashed in Hinata's eyes, so he shut them tightly, feeling like this was already off to a bad start. " _Anything_ Hinata-kun wants to do to me is going to be...absolutely, the best." His low voice reverberating off the walls, he squeezed his jaw a little more, and Hinata felt compelled to open his mouth--

\--But he snapped it shut, not ready yet, and pushed Komaeda's hand away.

"L-let me do it."

"Of course."

Hinata kept his eyes closed. Water from the shower continued running down over his face, but he didn't want to turn it off. Didn't want it to be silent. It felt like a comforting massage, assuring him it would be okay, reminding him time hadn't stopped.

"Hinata-kun, your hope is going to sh...shine so br--"

"Come on, shut up, let me concentrate."

Silence.

Eyes still shut, he reached out until he felt Komaeda's thigh, and blindly moved his hands up, further, until Komaeda twitched, and Hinata's fingers reached their destination. He was half hard already, so Hinata felt like maybe it was okay to just. Go ahead. He tried to remember what Komaeda usually did, but those memories were kind of a blur of lewd noises, hair pulling, trying to hold still. He swallowed, peeked one eye open quickly so he didn't _miss_ , opened his mouth, and leaned forward. His tongue darted out just a little-- he remembered that much, at least.

He barely had Komaeda in his mouth at all before he felt a hand gripping his hair, and Komaeda's hips jerked forward. Hinata backed up with the motion, and his head nearly hit the wall. "Mngh--!"

He pushed him away immediately and wiped the water out of his eyes. " _Don't_ do that!" He glared up at Komaeda, who had his own hand in his mouth. Staring down at him with pupils contracted, knees shaking.

"S-sorry, Hinata-kun!" He backed up a couple steps until he was against the wall, and clamped his hand over his mouth. Hinata narrowed his eyes, but moved toward him again. He sat on his ankles in front of a shaking Komaeda. He understood now why Komaeda usually held his hips when he did this, and this time, he did the same. Pressing him against the wall, he tipped his head up and tried again. He still didn't get very far, but this time, it wasn't Komaeda's fault. As Komaeda shuddered, Hinata realized that his teeth were grazing him. He pulled back again, wilting a bit. "This isn't as easy as you make it look."

"It...feels amazing, Hinata-kun."

Hinata frowned. He really hadn't done anything yet, and couldn't decide if Komaeda was being encouraging, or patronizing, or just himself.

"Teeth, I know, I'll be careful," he wanted to say it before Komaeda did, he couldn't bear to be _scolded_ right now.

"Mmn _nnn_ ," Komaeda made a strange, shivering sound as he turned his head away. Hinata decided not to read too much into it.

He tried again, taking as much into his mouth as he could, and carefully tried applying some suction. Komaeda moaned around his own fingers, dragging his other hand through Hinata's hair. It was kind of encouraging. Hinata moved his head just a little, overly conscious of his teeth, and licked. Komaeda's hips shifted against his hands, startling him, but he kept him still and bobbed his head again, trying his best. He could hear Komaeda gasping, and tried to take him in a little further.

He was starting to get the hang of it, leaning into him and pulling back in a slow rhythm, when, abruptly, Hinata felt his hand being grabbed and moved _behind_ Komaeda, who was arching his back off the wall. Hinata's fingers were being maneuvered into place. He pulled his head back in disbelief. "What are you doing."

"Ah..." Komaeda looked down, like he wasn't sure himself, as if _someone else_ had placed Hinata's hand on his ass. Instead of answering, he reached for the bottle of bath gel on the edge of the tub. "Please, Hinata-kun, i-if you want to."

"Can...can I focus on one thing at a time?" Hinata moved his hand back into place on his hip.

The bottle slipped out of Komaeda's fingers, hitting the floor with a loud thud, and he grabbed Hinata's face with both hands, eyes darkening. His hands were trembling. "Of course, Hinata-kun, whatever you want." Komaeda was leaning forward, casting a dark shadow over him, and it made him shiver.

Hinata pulled away from his grasp. "O...okay, you can't be standing up for this! I don't like it." Hinata pointed to the floor of the tub. "Lay down here."

"Ah...on...the ground?" Komaeda looked down at the still slightly sandy tub floor. Hinata stood up and leaned out of the shower, grabbing Komaeda's green towel off the wall. "...Hinata-kun, that's my..." Hinata threw the towel down and spread it out, creating a soaking wet carpeting at Komaeda's feet.

"Lay down."

"I-if that's what you want."

"It is."

Komaeda hesitantly knelt down on the soggy towel, _his_ soggy towel, and moved onto his back, partially upright against the walls of the tub, legs bent, thighs parted. Spray from the shower hitting his stomach caused him to blink, repeatedly, until it was easier just to close his eyes against the misty onslaught. He looked a little uncomfortable, but significantly more _relaxed_. Hinata's back was to the spray, and with less water in his face, he felt like this was a lot better already. He pushed the other boy's knees up enough that his heels weren't touching the ground, taking away his leverage for sudden movement. He sighed, squared his shoulders, and ducked his head, to try going down on Komaeda one more _god damned_ time.

Komaeda moaned and writhed against him, but from this position, it wasn't so bad. Hinata was able to use his full weight to hold him down with his forearm, while his other hand stroked what his mouth couldn't reach.

As he got more into it, Komaeda started trying to grab his hair, but Hinata seized his hand and looked up. "Komaeda, put your hands somewhere else."

He drew in a sharp breath, and his face flushed. "Where...would you like me to put them, Hinata-kun?"

"I don't care, just keep them to yourself, you're distracting me."

"Where...would you like...me to..."

"I don't care!" he repeated. Komaeda looked like he didn't understand. Ah. Hinata cleared his throat. "P...put them in your mouth, and be quiet," he said as sternly as he could, which wasn't all that stern.

Komaeda's back arched off the towel slightly. "Y-yes, Hinata-kun..." He did as he was told, pressing his middle and ring finger knuckles between his teeth. Hinata found the sight to be equally distracting, but leaned back down on his hips and managed to re-focus.

He tensely tried using his tongue again, and he was sure it couldn't possibly be that great, but after a few nervous licks, Komaeda started squirming and slammed his unoccupied hand on the tub hard enough Hinata wanted to shush him. Annoyed, he made a muffled sound around him that was supposed to mean _'be quieter_!', but the vibrations in his throat had the opposite effect. Komaeda groaned, his thighs trembling, nudging Hinata's head a bit-- Hinata was sure his _teeth_ grazed him again. Komaeda slapped his hand over his own mouth to block his voice, he convulsed once, and Hinata realized a little too late that it had apparently been enough. He pulled back when Komaeda came, most of it ending up on his face and hair, but the shower flowing over his head quickly sanitized the experience for him. He blinked, surprised it was already over.

"Hinata-kun, I'm sorry...!" Even Komaeda looked surprised, or maybe he was just taking in the sight of Hinata before it all washed away, "I've just, I've _imagined_ this moment... many times... so when it finally happened..." He was breathing hard and trying to drag his hands down his face, but they were tangled in his wet, messy hair.

Hinata felt proud of himself for a moment, before it dawned on him that perhaps this success didn't belong to him. _Imaginary Hinata-kun_. His old rival.

"...I bet when you imagine it, it feels much better than that, right."

Komaeda grabbed Hinata's shoulders and pulled him on to his lap in a wet, unbelievably naked hug. The nakedest possible hug. Hinata started to struggle, but Komaeda was nuzzling the top of his head. "No, it was exactly how I imagined it!"

"Uh, o-okay, that's good," _Is that good?_ He stilled and let the hug go on for a few more seconds (because he was tired,) while Komaeda mumbled blissfully into his hair. Hinata's face felt hot and he was feeling some kind of emotion that he didn't want to identify, so he started talking over it, "O-kay, that's enough showering for today!" He planted his hands on the towel to push himself up.

"Hinata-kun, do you want me to--"

"No, it's okay! I just need to finish rinsing off." He turned away when he stood up. He knew Komaeda would have done anything for him at that moment, or any other moment, at any time of day, and all he had to do was ask, and he shouldn't ask. He wouldn't ask.

After another quick round of rinsing himself clean, Komaeda stepped out of the tub. He grabbed Hinata's towel off the wall and wrapped it around his head for a moment, before hanging it back up. He seemed to dissipate into nothingness as he wandered behind the frosted glass divider;  eventually the bathroom door opened and shut, leaving Hinata by himself.

He didn't realize how shallowly he'd been breathing until now-- he leaned against the wall, nearly gasping for air.  Now he was alone with his thoughts, his horrible thoughts, and it was suddenly the last thing he wanted. A lot had happened today, a lot of things he _should_ be thinking about, important things-- but all he was able to remember was _that_ and _that_ , and how weird it had been to put on a show for some mystery audience. Weird. It was weird. His hand crept between his legs as he thought about how _weird_ it was. What made Komaeda think something like that was _okay,_ even for a moment-- To be watched, while they-- Komaeda, Komaeda on the beach, on his knees, on his h _ands and knees_ \--

The truth that was hovering in the shower steam, rolling and hot, in constant motion, finally surfaced and solidified.

The truth that he had an imaginary Komaeda, too.

He quickly looked out the frosted window that connected his dark bedroom to the bright bathroom, it looked like an opaque black square. The fog, combined with the glass texture, sufficiently obscured his image, he assumed.

  
He faced away from the window and crouched down all the same, as he did it, and realized with no small amount of shame that _Imaginary Komaeda_ wasn't much different from _Actual Komaeda_. Their relationship had progressed a little further, however-- He closed his eyes, and thought about what it must be like to be Imaginary Hinata.  
  
Whether it was with real or imagined Komaeda, Hinata still felt the same amount of guilt when he finished.  


  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

His towel was wet, so he dried off quickly and ineffectively. It was kind of chilly in the room while he was still damp, so he made a beeline for his bed and the notable mound hiding under blankets. He couldn't even see Komaeda's hair peeking out, which was unusual. He lifted the sheets to find him curled up under them, with a tight, odd smile on his face. Hinata crawled into bed, but kept the sheets lifted with his arm.

"Hey, uh. Everythinggg.... okay?"

"Hinata-kun, there's someone at your door." His strange smile wobbled.

"What?!" His voice abruptly dropped into a panicked whisper. "Right now?"

"They've been knocking for a few minutes now."

"WHAT?" It was _not_ a whisper this time.

His door burst open. Souda was there. Hinata remembered that his lock was broken.

"Hinata!! Are you okay?"

He frantically scooted over to Komaeda, trying desperately to make it look like the shape of another person was just, somehow, his own legs. "S-Souda! What... uh! Don't... don't you know... about knocking?" He was speaking too loudly and moving too much, clutching the blanket up to his chin to give Komaeda enough room to _flatten out_ or do _something_ to minimize his appearance. Komaeda slithered between his bent knees, stomach down, head pressed into Hinata's abdomen, he was practically vibrating.

"Uh, I WAS knocking, like, a lot!" Souda hadn't quite stepped in yet, he was squinting into the darkness of the room, casting a long shadow across the floor. "Dude, sorry, but Mioda just told me Komaeda went into your room, and never came out?"

Mioda appeared behind him. "Ibuki heard it with her own amazing ears!" Cool, two people in his cottage now.

"She said he was coming in to smell your towels or something--"

"THAT is crazy," Hinata yelled.

"You don't have to tell me, man. I just wanted to make sure you were, y'know, alive. Since he was making you do something at the beach with him too."

"Ohoho! Two boys are doing some night swimming at the beach! At night! Together!" _How good are her ears, exactly?_

"I didn't want to mess with it, but I would have felt. Really fuckin' bad. If I didn't check. And you went missing, or some other creepy bullshit."

"I don't know where Komaeda is!" Hinata tried to keep the panic out of his voice, but Komaeda was breathing on his stomach. 

Souda grabbed himself like he was cold, looking back and forth around the cottages, apparently expecting to be mauled at any moment. "Yeah, that's not really comforting either, but I'm glad you're alright."

"Y-yep, I'm fine! Thank you!"

"Okay, sorry to barge in." He gave a thumbs up, silhouetted in the doorway, "And you should get your lock fixed." Hinata glanced at Mioda, who opened her mouth to interject, but didn't quite manage it before Souda shut the door.

The sound of it closing echoed far longer than it should have, until the cottage settled back into silence. Hinata stayed frozen, waiting for Souda to remember something else and burst in again. When that didn't happen, he finally glared down at Komaeda under the sheets. He was glowing.

"You handled that situation wonderfully! As expected of Hinata-kun! I could hear your heart beating so fast, and yet, Souda-kun was somehow fooled by your disarming excuses!" He couldn't hold back an excited laugh as his fingers walked up Hinata's sides like spiders. "Of course, this is why I come by _after_ evening announcements...but perhaps you intentionally set yourself up in a position to test your abilities! Wonderful!"

"Shut up, I knew you would come by anyway, so I thought making it in just one trip would be... whatever!" He dropped the blankets on him and started smashing at his head through them, sort of, _kind of,_ trying to push him away.

Komaeda's muffled voice came through as he remained unphased by Hinata's half-hearted shoving. "Do you want me to do anything for you tonight, Hinata-kun?"

"No, I think you've done enough," Hinata knew he sounded extra cranky, but he didn't care, "I just wanna go to sleep."

"What were you thinking about?"

Hinata stopped smashing. "Huh?"

"In the shower?"

"Wh... come on, seriously?" Hinata slapped the top of his head, a disappointing sensation when cushioned by the padding of blanket and fluffy hair, "Were you _watching_ me?"

"Ah, I meant when we were together...earlier! You seemed lost in thought...but if you don't want to share that with me, I understand."

"Oh..." Hinata wasn't entirely convinced, but he didn't want to bring it up again. "You know, s-stuff from today. We saw a lot of stuff. On the new island." He dislodged Komaeda from between his legs and rolled over, facing away.

"It's exciting to see new places here, isn't it?" Komaeda lay back on his pillow, pulling the blankets up to his chin with both hands. "In this kind of situation, it's important to keep everyone motivated, keep the scenery fresh. There's so much potential for anything to happen while exploring!" He tugged the blankets up higher, muffling his voice a little, but he continued, "I want to make sure everyone is able to do their best."

"I guess." Hinata was too tired to even argue with him. He closed his eyes, hoping he would read the mood for once, and go to sleep without Hinata having to say it again. But there was some intangible thought hovering, drifting in the air above the bed. It tangled in the canopy and hung over him like a curse. The atmosphere became heavy with all the unfinished thoughts he wasn't voicing; Hinata could feel them, sitting on his skull, it was giving him a headache. Surprising even himself, he was the one to break the silence.

"What do you mean, 'make sure' everyone is able to do their best?"

It took Komaeda a moment to answer, like he'd drifted off, but he sounded thrilled to be questioned, "Like, allowing myself to become their stepping-stone!" Hinata could feel him roll over, and regretted asking. "If my sacrifice allows for someone with talent to shine, then it doesn't matter what happens to me." Komaeda seemed to realize that he'd said all this before, and tried again, "That is, I'd gladly do anything, if it meant someone-- like you, Hinata-kun-- was able to reach a greater height."

It took this long for Hinata to pinpoint what was bothering him. "Do you just...hang out with me, to make sure I'm 'doing my best'?"

"D-do you feel like you're doing your best when I'm around?" His eyes grew wide and round.

"That's not what I said...!" Hinata had one hand resting under his pillow that was now balled into a fist. He definitely felt tense around Komaeda, but the nature of their relationship also meant that he was relieving _other_ kinds of tension. Was Hinata supposed to be 'doing his best' because of something like _that_?

"Do you _do stuff_ with me because you think it'll make me...perform better on the Killing School Trip?" He sat up, glaring at Komaeda, who was now just saucer-wide eyes and hair peeking out from the comforter.

"Hinata-kun," with his eyebrows hidden under his relentless bangs and mouth obscured by the sheet, his expression was unreadable, "That's a very cold way to look at time spent with another person... but, if that's how you see me, it can't be helped! I'm grateful that you allow me to be near you, even if it's for a pure, brutally honest reason like that."

"I didn't say that was my reason! I was asking if it was yours!"  
_  
__It's not my reason, right?_

_What is my reason?_

"My reason... is that I like to be near you, of course. Sometimes, our actions simply have beneficial side-effects!" He started to wring out the comforter like there was water in it, "...And, sometimes they have devastating, unforeseen side-effects, too! But sometimes, by pure coincidence, one thing leads to another, a-and everything works out for the best. That's... what I hope, at least, Hinata-kun..." He seemed to sink deeper into the mattress, barely a trembling speed bump in the blankets.

Hinata couldn't remember one single time Komaeda had used the word 'coincidence' in a believable context, including this time. But he didn't want to talk about this anymore. He felt like, rather than Komaeda, he might be yelling at himself right now-- except, had he been yelling at himself, he wouldn't dare ask--

"What is _your_ reason, Hinata-kun?"

"...I-isn't it obvious? I have to watch you, so you don't do anything weird by yourself." Right, what had he been so worried about? That was his answer, it had always been his answer. Hinata laid down on his back, tense, like he was ready to sprint out of bed at any second.

"Oh...right!" Komaeda laughed dully, "You have to. Even my very presence is creating a bothersome chore for you." His tone changed imperceptibly, flattening, but remaining jovial. He stared at the ceiling, one hand twisting into his hair roughly, "Maybe I was being too conceited to think I could be of use to you, but at the very least, I thought I wouldn't end up making you feel like--" Komaeda's sentence cut off when Hinata grabbed his hand and gently pulled it out of his hair, intertwining their fingers as he brought his arm down to his side.

"It's not like I have anything else to do," he mumbled, as it dawned on him that they were just laying in bed _holding hands_ now. "It's like...it's not boring to hang out with you, so," Hinata trailed off, there was no way he was going to say any more than that.

"O-oh...that's good, then." Somehow, he seemed satisfied with what Hinata knew was a lukewarm answer. He remembered that Komaeda was only good at reading between the lines when he wanted to be, and wondered what exactly he was reading right now.

They were both quiet after that. Hinata drifted off to sleep thinking that Komaeda's hands felt colder than usual.

 

~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Sunlight filtered in through the blinds as morning announcements finished. Hinata stretched his arms up over his head, dangling them off the edge of the mattress for a moment before continuing the stretch in a big, slow circle. His right arm smacked in to something, and he bolted upright.

Komaeda was still here.

Komaeda was laying on his back, head turned, staring at him.

Hinata was instantly on his knees, clutching his chest. "K-Komaeda, you scared me. I, uh, you usually. Left. Usually gone. By now. Hi." His voice was scratchy with sleep.

"I can't stand waking up next to you." Komaeda's eyes were dark.

Hinata thought he'd misheard, knew he'd misheard. "Huh?"

"Being close to you is awful, and looking at you makes me sick."

"What?" Hinata's heart started pounding even harder. He knew it. He fucking knew it. This had all been some huge, horrible, disgusting joke. And he fell for it! Like a desperate idiot, seeking attention from anyone, even a guy like--

"I want to leave." Komaeda inhaled, his breathing sounded strange. But Hinata couldn't focus on that right now, not with his head spinning. Trying not to let tears well up. He felt so stupid.

"So fucking leave, then? You obviously know where the door is!" Hinata clenched a fistful of sheets and ripped them off of Komaeda.

Komaeda, who wasn't moving. He was laying flat on his back, wearing only his boxers, but completely drenched in sweat. He didn't even flinch. His chest moved rapidly, Hinata could hear him breathing.

"I'm going. I'm leaving right now." He still didn't move a muscle. Hinata realized that they weren't actually making eye contact, even though they were looking at each other. He crawled over to grab his arm and pull him off the bed, but when he touched his skin, he froze.

"Sh...shit, Komaeda, you're..." He moved his hand to Komaeda's forehead, realizing now that he was even paler than usual. "You've got a fever. Like, a really, really bad fever...!"

"No, I don't," he wheezed.

"You do!"

"Don't touch me."

He hopped off the bed and returned with a cool, wet rag from the shower room. He pulled Komaeda partially into his lap, pushing the hair off his forehead before gently placing the rag over his skin. He inhaled sharply-- a strange, labored sound.

After a few moments, Komaeda reached his hand up in the air, so Hinata held it. Komaeda's clammy fingers clasped around his hand weakly. "I don't want to stay here with you." He squeezed his hand lightly before his grip faltered and his arm dropped across his chest.

"C-come on, Tsumiki will know what to do if you're sick."

Hinata quickly dressed himself and then helped Komaeda do the same, even as he protested. He supported the other boy's weight completely, easing him off the bed, heated skin burning through his shirt.

There was no one else outside when he dragged Komaeda out of his cottage, which was good, because he'd completely forgotten to check. _Pure luck_ , he thought. Komaeda mumbled against his ear, something about how terrible the weather was, as the morning sun shown down on them.

Hinata helped him up the outdoor staircase to go meet with the others, one agonizing step at a time. Komaeda's foot slipped suddenly, and Hinata caught him with a panicked yelp.  
  
Heart pounding, his head filled involuntarily with disastrous, worst-case scenario imagery of what could have happened if he hadn't managed to catch his fall.  
  
Hinata steadied himself, clutching at narrow shoulders, and wondered, helplessly, why he had to be this worried about someone like _Komaeda_.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm a terrible person so i'm not sure why my hinakoma fanfics end up being about hand holding and feelings and stuff but here we are
> 
> there's no drawing to go with this chapter (at the moment) but there's a ton of various (!!NSFW!!) hinakoma artwork on my sdr2 tumblr whose name i don't want to be searchable to this but it's uhhh
> 
> y ndr.....4 ........ hope .  
> all one word smashed together  
> at tumblr dot com

**Author's Note:**

> wow if you actually made it through all that, thank you for reading!!! here is a surprise (???) 
> 
> >>>VERY NSFW ILLUSTRATION >>>  
> http://i.imgur.com/RZko9Ms.jpg
> 
> to be honest i'm new to sdr2 and writing fic but i've received so many nice comments here and they're so fun to write, so thanks!


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